2011年4月27日 星期三
Comparing - 2
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both assumed identical characters in the past. First of all, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson played the important roles in American Revolution. Next, John Adams delegated to the Continental Congress, and so did Thomas Jefferson. Third, John Adams was the second U.S. president; likewise, Thomas Jefferson was the third president of Uinted Stated. Besides, John Adams was the signer of Declaration of Independence, and Thomas Jefferson was too. Fifth, John Adams as well as Thomas Jefferson studied and practice law. Finally, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same date. Needless to say, they are such important individuals of the United States history.
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內容陳述不錯呢!
回覆刪除比上一篇長一點~
Next, John Adams delegated to the Continental Congress, and so did Thomas Jefferson.(是was deleated to,所以後面是so was..)
回覆刪除Third, John Adams was the second U.S. president; likewise, Thomas Jefferson was the third president of Uinted Stated. (你第一個寫第二任,第二個寫第三任,這樣就不能用likewise吧! 他們只是同樣是美國總統)
我想法跟暈暈一樣可能寫都是總統就好了不要第二任第三任了喔
回覆刪除沒什麼大問題
回覆刪除兩個人的名字出現好多次喔!
回覆刪除要不要用代名詞阿!
我喜歡你用assume這個動詞!用的好~
回覆刪除另外,最後一句they are such important individuals of the United States history.
→改成in American history會不會比較好?
給你參考嚕!
後面提到名字要不要用former~之類的字代替阿
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